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101 Things I Hate!
by Phil Lea


(In no certain order)

01. I hate Democrats!
My mom washed some sheets for me once and must've used a friggin' gallon of that crap. I almost died! I got into bed and went to sleep. I was awakened when my chest closed-up and I could hardly breathe. I started coughing so hard that my BP went out of sight. I went outside in the Winter time to get some air and it took about an hour for me to be able to breathe easily. When I came back inside that sh*t was all over me and I started coughing again. I had to get in the shower to get it off me. When I stripped the bed and washed the clothes I had to shower again because that poison got on me again! I was so damn mad that I would have personally kicked the *sshole's ass who invented that sh*t, if I knew who it was. (I really think I came close to dying as it's lucky I even woke up.)

Now, when some Downey Addict in the neighborhood uses that crap, it permeates the air and I have to go inside to get away from it.

02. I hate scented hand soap!
I go into a restaurant and, after ordering, go wash up. It never fails that all they have is friggin' perfumed soap. You can't get the smell of that sh*t off your hands. You can't eat in peace as you smell that sh*t on your hands when you bring the fork to your mouth. What sissy dumb*ss wuss washed his/her/it's hands and said (in a sissy voice) "Ooooooh. I wish my hands smelled like a Whorehouse!! Let's get EVERY FREAKIN' SOAP MFG IN THE FRIGGIN' WORLD to load up their soap with this sh*t."

03. I hate department stores!
I can't go into a department store any more. It's bad enough that the perfume counters create a maze one must navigate at each entrance from the mall or that this stinky shi*t permeates the air, but there's an idiot there spraying the crap on people that walk by. (I guess they were fired from their job at the grocery store handing out snack samples.)

04. I hate Stores that sell candles and/or play dulcimer music!
They seem to all have some kinds of stench in the air. What is it with these people? 
Do they not want real men in there? 
I believe these people could go through the army's tear gas training and not shed a tear. 
That sh*t stinks!

05. I hate strong perfume, cologne, aftershave, etc.........!
Do people really stink so bad that they have to take a bath in that sh*t? When I go on a date, I try to remember to ask the girl not to wear any perfume. (It takes forever for that stink to get off my pillow.) lol I know guys that also smell like a french whore, they use so much "lilac water". (I liked Granny Clampett's: "Just a dab of vanilla flavoring behind each ear.") Have you people never heard of your own Pheromones?

06. I hate Glade Plug-ins (and all other imitators)!
Clean your damn house if it stinks!

07. I hate cigarette smoke!
If you have an uncontrollable nicotine addiction, chew and spit in a cup.  ("A smoking section is like a peeing section in a pool.") If chewers spit on people they would get their asses whipped, so why is it okay to blow their smoke in my air. (Can I piss on your leg?)

08. I hate wet cigarettes!
A smoker comes to your house and go outside to smoke. They bring the cigarette in, wet it in the sink and throw it in the garbage. Pray you don't drop the phone in the trash. 

09. I hate cats!
I was awakened one morning at 4:00 AM by a mewing that sounded like it was under my bedroom. Living in a new house, I knew there was no way a cat could get under there. Well, the next day I crawled under my new house and there lay two dead kittens. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and an adult cat jumped up in the floor joists at the back wall. When I got over there the builder had not even sealed under the breakfast nook bay! Hell! I could've crawled out of there. I think the kittens must've died of distemper/parvo/or whatever you call it. Now the momma is tracking muddy prints all over my new, white driveway, on my deck, on my truck, sleeping in my lawn chairs, etc.......
(The only 2 cats I ever liked were Bear and Fred, my barn cats. They were my barn cats and killed mice. They were glad to see me when I was at the barn. They didn't come in the house, I never found cat hair in my food, I never smell cat feces in the house.)

10. I hate sorry-ass builders and building contractors! 
If you've ever used more than one, need I say more???

11. I hate pine trees!
I believe pine trees create more air pollution than my SUV!
(I know they put pollen all over my truck and in my sinuses.)

12. I hate the US Forest Service!
a. They allow our beautiful hardwoods to be cut and set out freakin' pine trees. (see #11)
b. They cut roads all over the forests so wooders can cut trees and put gates up so we can't go on them.
c. They own in excess of 150,000 acres in Polk Co. TN.
    Compared to resident landowners, they pay a small percentage per acre in taxes,
    causing a high tax rate for the residents.
d. Then, they have the gall to charge fees to already high tax-paying residents to visit recreation 
    areas that they control.

13. I hate idiots who design public restrooms where the door swings in when you're leaving.
You go into a restaurant and visit the restroom first. You push on the bathroom door to go in, so you then know that some idiot designed it so you'll have to "pull" the door to get out. You finish and while you're washing your hands some nasty person comes out of the stall grumbling because there's no toilet paper, grabs the handle and exits. You then stand there looking at that door handle. (Can you say: "Feces on the door handle!"???????) Then you look for the paper towels to open the door with and, of course, there's only an air dryer in there..............

Here's what I do. I lather up my hands and the wash the handle. I then cup my hands and douse it with water several times (hoping no one opens the door in mid-splash). I then wash my hands again, dry 'em on my pants, use my wet pinky to open the door and sanitize it by wiping it on my pants again. I order my meal (hoping I don't see nasty, fat guy back there cooking) and go sit down. I raise my burger to my mouth and the perfume poison now on my hands about knocks the top of my head off. Now I'm p*ssed. I eat my damn burger while holding my breath and curse another unknown, sissy idiot

14. I hate idiots who drive 55 in the left lane of the interstate and won't pull over!
Can you say: "Get out of the damn way!" ??????

15. I hate liberals who won't admit they're liberals!
They claim: "I'm a moderate." or "I'm middle of the road". Chicken sh*ts! 
(I used to be a liberal, then I got a job.)

16. I hate people who say (when discussing presidential candidates): "They're all the same."
Do you ever hear about judges making stupid decisions? 99% of the time they were appointed by a lousy Democrat.
Can you say: ".....under GOD" in the Pledge of Allegiance ?????
Can you see the "10 Commandments"  in your courthouse?

17. I hate conservatives who vote Democrat because daddy, granddaddy, etc...... did!

18. I hate college kids who vote Democrat just because daddy votes Republican!

19. I hate stupid people who breed!
[There may be a few others not in #17 & #18 categories.]

20. I hate this NASCAR non-rule!
Tell the auto manufacturers if they don't make it in a rear-wheel drive, they can't run it.

21. I hate this NASCAR rule:
Restrictor plates. (The "nose pickers" who can't drive would run 300, wreck and get out of the way.)

22. I hate even another NASCAR rule!
Finishing a race under caution. (All races should have at least 5 laps under green.) (Note: They heard my call and fixed this one.)

23. I hate Sterling Marlin.
He killed Dale!

24. I hate Jap-bikes wannabe's!
I don't mind crotch-rockets or dirt bikes, but it p*sses me off when Jap companies try to make 'em look exactly like a Harley.

25. I hate the liberal, so-called "news" media
They spoon-out liberal, socialist, Communist biased propaganda, claiming it's news.
(Tell people you're trying to influence them and I'll no longer hate you.)

26. I hate "Bush Haters".
(I think most liberals are atheists. The earth is their mother, liberalism is their god and Bush is their satan.)

27. I hate militant vegetarians!
(That damn carrot was "alive" too, you know!)

28. I hate eBay!
   
One year I sold $30,000 worth of model trains on eBay and it was fun, but it seems every few months 
    eBay would "tighten the screws" on their SELLERS!
    Buyers can give false information to eBay, renege on buying, get kicked off and all 
    they have to do is change ID and continue to defraud others.
    SELLERS, on the other hand, (the only people who pay eBay) 
    have to jump through so many hoops to get credit on non-payers they often give up.
    Ebay gets the credit card number of sellers and if we screw-up we're screwed!
    Ebay is like the liberal-leaning US government: 
    They penalize the hard-working people while rewarding dead-beats!

29. I hate PayPal. 
 I recently sold an item on eBay and the buyer paid with PayPal.
 PayPal sent me a notice that the buyer had paid, so I packed it and shipped it.
 Well....... a few days later PayPal informed me:
 We regret to inform you that you received funds from an account with
 reports of fraudulent bank account use. The transaction listed below is under review.

 Then the b*stards simply took the money back out of my PayPal account because they screwed-up!!!!!!!
 They make all the money with NO RISKS! Unfair!

30. I hate Realtor.com!
You can perform  a search there for a house with a basement and you'll get everything, basement or not. Hell, you'll get double-wides!
 Also.....  I just performed a search for a house in Cleveland TN with a basement and fireplace. 
I got this result: "0 of 6 properties in the area match your criteria" What the hell is 0 of 6??? Sounds like Star Trek and the Borg.
Are they trying to tell me there are NO houses for sale in Cleveland TN with a basement and a fireplace? 

31. I hate people who see this and give me grief because I have the b*lls to state my opinions!
('Nuff said!)

32. I hate protesters!
People who, while real people are working, spend daddy's money to travel around and complain about sh*t they know little about.

33. I hate the ACLU!

34. I hate PETA!

35. I  hate Rebates! (See: www.drwebman.com/rebates_suck )

36. I hate Larson Doors (see: www.drwebman.com/larson_doors )

37. I hate SPAM!

38. I hate empty Georgia log trucks taking short cuts through Bradley and Polk Counties of Tennessee.
(See: http://www.drwebman.com/nothrutrucks  )

 

39. I hate Downey Fabric Softener!
My mom washed some sheets for me once and must've used a friggin' gallon of that crap. I almost died! I got into bed and went to sleep. I was awakened when my chest closed-up and I could hardly breathe. I started coughing so hard that my BP went out of sight. I went outside in the Winter time to get some air and it took about an hour for me to be able to breathe easily. When I came back inside that sh*t was all over me and I started coughing again. I had to get in the shower to get it off me. When I stripped the bed and washed the clothes I had to shower again because that poison got on me again! I was so damn mad that I would have personally kicked the *sshole's ass who invented that sh*t, if I knew who it was. (I really think I came close to dying as it's lucky I even woke up.)

Now, when some Downey Addict in the neighborhood uses that crap, it permeates the air and I have to go inside to get away from it

 

 


 



 

 

Are gays running every freakin' facet of the world now?
(Actually I know the REAL reason: 
Women do 90% of the shopping and the poor men have to use whatever the hell crap they bring home.)

I can't go anywhere and easily find hand soap, hand lotion, laundry detergent, fabric softener, etc..... that isn't overwhelming with perfumes.

TIDE FREE is good, but I have to search high and low for it.
(Once I tried ALL Clear Free and it caused a rash where my underwear touched the insides of my legs.)

What's the deal?

What idiot washed his hands and said: "I wish my clean hands smelled like a whorehouse." 

Does no one in the world have sinuses except me?

I hate this shit!

[It's damn mind-numbed, soap-opera-commercial-watchin' idiots that buy all this crap.]